ginger! (anxietyflow) wrote in thewritestuff,

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way.

She had often thought of ways she could tell him. But no matter how many little ways entered her mind, none of them would ever work, she thought. How do you tell your boyfriend you are sleeping with his best friend anyway? No matter how many "I'm so sorry"'s she could muster up, none of it seemed to work. She had been thinking about this for months since she had first started sleeping with Max, who was Roger's best friend. Jane had fell in love with Max. She loved the way he would hold her in his arms after they made love and how he would stroke her hair and whisper sweet words into her ear. He could always make her smile and laugh. Max also had told Jane that he loved her too. But he admitted to being afraid of what Roger might say.

"But," Max had said, "when it comes down to it, I love you. And I'll do anything to be with you. Anything."

A part of Jane felt sad and upset. Did this mean that he would even risk his friendship with Roger to be with her? She didn't like the idea of tearing up a friendship like that. She was sure many people would see her as a "slut" for doing so. But love is one of those things people can't just control. You cannot control your emotions, Jane figured. And besides, Roger had been neglecting her lately. He liked to go out to bars with his friends and party all night getting drunk. Max would normally be one of those friends, but after Max and Jane started talking and getting to know each other, whenever Roger would go out with friends, Max would say no to the offer and instead head over to the apartment Roger shared with Jane.

Max was wonderful with Jane. Roger wasn't much of a conversationalist. Max liked to have intellectual conversations and discuss deep meaningful things with Jane. Jane liked this because she had always been an intellectual and it frustrated her how Roger wasn't into that stuff. Lately Jane had been feeling that her and Roger weren't even compatible anymore. She fell into the arms and comfort of Max each time Roger went away with his drinking buddies.

Jane had discussed the details over with Max on how she would break the news to Roger. They had been seeing each other for the past month and a half, whereas Jane and Roger had been together for three years. At first things with Roger were real nice. They decided to get their own place together and things were going really well. But within just several months of living together, things turned sour. Roger was never around and when he was, he was always in front of the TV. Jane realized maybe she was being too emotional, so she backed off for a while, but that only set Roger off more, accusing her of not loving him anymore. He was extremely moody and Jane didn't understand him. She had no idea when he would want to be with her or when he'd want to just leave her and go off somewhere. Their relationship was very intense, but Roger was never violent with Jane. Once when he was drunk, he did throw a bunch of stuff off a table, but that was as far as any violence went.

Max agreed that it was best to tell Roger immediately about the two of them. He said that once it was all done and over with, they would both feel like shit, but it would be well worth it. There was no point in running around hiding anymore. They had to be free, he had said.

The night arrived for Jane to tell Roger. Max came over the their apartment, but Roger thought he was just showing up to watch a football game with him.

"Roger, there's something I have to tell you now that Max is here," Jane began.

Roger was sitting on the couch, drinking. "What does Max have to do with it?" he asked. His eyes were still completely glued to the television set. He wasn't even looking at Jane or Max.

"Yeah, what do I have to do with it?" Max asked, seeming completely clueless.

Jane looked at him with wide eyes. She had no idea what Max was trying to do now that the moment had finally arrived. She thought maybe he could have possibly been trying to force it out of her, but looking back she realizes that was so naive of her.

She cleared her throat and went on, "You're not ever here. And when you leave to go out, Max comes over... We've been sleeping together." She had no idea how to say it, so she decided to just say it, simply stated.

Roger let out a little laugh while taking a swig of his Bud. "What?!"

"Oh geez, I can't believe this," Max said.

"We've been sleeping together! Don't you get it? You're never here!" Jane shouted this time.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jane? Have you lost your mind? It's a complete lie," Max said.

Jane looked back at Max again. What are you doing? she mouthed to him, but Max's eyes were cold and distant.

"I can't believe you," he muttered.

"You asshole!" Jane said. Now she was really mad.

"Will someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on here?" Roger said, "Hey, get out of the way, Jane. You're blocking my view." It was obvious he was too drunk to take anything seriously right now.

"Why are you doing this? You said we were going to do this! We're doing it! What's your problem?" Jane asked Max.

"I have no problem, Jane," Max said, "I just don't want to deal with you anymore, man. You're too fucked up for me. I'm leaving."

Max walked across the living room and right out the door, slamming it shut behind him, leaving Jane standing there in the midst of the living room with tears in her eyes, listening to Roger continue to scream for her to get out of the way. But even though Jane heard Roger, she wasn't really paying attention. She couldn't believe this had happened. Did Max just leave her? And after he told her he was willing to tell Roger the truth with her? How could he?

"Jane, Jane! Jane! Jane!" Roger continued yelling Jane's name, but she was completely oblivious to it. Then suddenly he just threw the remote at her, hitting her leg, causing her to snap out of her thoughts. She jerked her head real fast to look at him.

"Will you fucking move already? Jesus Christ!"

"Oh God, shut up Roger," Jane said in this tired disgusting voice.

She went to their bedroom and began to cry hysterically. She started packing up her stuff. She had wanted to be with Max really badly. She didn't understand how he could just dismiss their whole relationship like that. And she sure wasn't going to stay with Roger anymore. Their love had died a long long time ago, she figured.

After packing up, she just walked out the door. She decided she'd go stay with her mother until she could get back on her feet again.

I should have never even slept with him, she thought.
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